Firecrackers

Well, I'm sitting alone on my couch a couple of days after the 4th of July, and I can still hear the hillbillies surrounding me lighting off firecrackers. Seriously? It's 2:00 in the afternoon on a Monday. But, it has me thinking: how fucking stupid are firecrackers?

Now, I'm not talking about fireworks; those are different. Everyone loves to watch those little balls of flame shoot up into the sky and open up into a canopy of colors that drape down through the night like a pre-schooler's lite-bright picture. I'm talking about the stupid powder-filled, wick-lit, loud-bang, pieces of shit that kids light and throw into the air just to hear a loud boom because they think it's funny;it's not.

I mean, seriously, there are no pretty colors, no sprinkling of ashes that float through the air in fancy shapes, no visual stimulation whatsoever. Just a loud fucking bang.

Now, perhaps I'm a little biased because every time they light one of these things, my dog goes into a barking fit that causes her to run from window to window in my house, trying to chase the noise. But, that annoyance aside, I still think these might be the dumbest forms of entertainment on this planet.

I hope I don't sound unpatriotic. Happy 4th, idiots.