Excuse me, sir? Can I ask you a question?
I know: it’s been forever since I’ve written. Truth is, I’ve been pretty happy lately; that was until I went to the mall yesterday afternoon. Let me tell you about the most annoying assholes in the world: the “Dead Sea Salt” kiosk workers.
If you’ve been to virtually any mall in the Metro Detroit area, then surely you have run in to these complete morons. Now, let me clarify one thing: I know that these kids are “only doing their jobs.” Trust me, I get that. But, you know what, get a new fucking job, dip shit. For those who are confused, I’ll explain:
The “Dead Sea Salt” kiosk is usually located conveniently right in the middle of the damn mall, completely unavoidable. In the particular mall in which I was perusing yesterday, the kiosk is dead set in the middle of an already small walkway. The product is some kind of “miracle” skin exfoliate that my wife will truly love (or so they’ve told me).
The problem with these people is that they are the most aggressive sales people I have ever encountered in my entire life, hands down. I mean, these peeps are seven times more pathetic than those kids who come by sweating in the summer trying to sell you a dollar store candle so that they can support their drug rehab program. The sea salt workers attempt to lure you in with casual rapport: excuse me, sir. Can I ask you a question? Then, once you respond to them, you’re fucked. They stampede you like a pack of wildebeest trampling Mufasa after he tried to save Simba in the gorge (yeah, that was a Lion King reference). They rub the exfoliate on your skin, and try to convince you that it’s already making your hand look better; it’s ridiculous.
The kicker: if you ignore them, or refuse to buy their product, they look at you like you’re the asshole. Apparently you’re the one who is interrupting their precious time, and asking them the most annoying questions in the world. Oh, and did I mention that some of the time they’re wearing lab coats? Fucking lab coats! Seriously?
Please, I’m begging: somebody kick over this fucking stand the next time you’re at the mall. Take a picture too; I would love to see it. I hate these idiots.
I love this post. I was actually totally scammed by one of these guys. What stinks is that I really like the products but those sales people are SOOO annoying. I was very naive and was approached by a guy a while back. I usually roll my eyes and look away but this guy wasn't standing anywhere near the kiosk...it was the end of the night and I was on my way out of the mall...he motioned with his finger this very sexy "come hither" motion. He was pretty darn cute and I smiled. Then I realized who he was....UGH!!! He's one of those sales guys. Problem was - I already smiled at him so there was no turning back. He came over and immediately took my hand and started massaging in this lotion. I wasn't interested in the lotion but let me tell you, the hand massage....OMG!!! He proceeded to tell me how he can do necks....backs...."toes to head". How vulgar, right? Why didn't I walk away? I was hypnotized. I spent over $100 and that included his "free gift" which was an $80 product (so he said). He put his phone number on the receipt and told me that I could "rent him". YEAH.....RENT HIM ALRIGHT!! How sick!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, long story short....they ALL say the same thing to people. I'd say 8 out of 10 times they'll give their phone number to an attractive customer. (Yes, I just complimented myself). I actually conducted a little experiment with friends and everyone was told the same BS. What a fool I feel like.
Funny thing is I've actually thought about "accidentally" knocking over the stand and saying "oops....I'm such a stupid American...look what I just did!!!" But even more fun....is to waste their precious time. When you've got a little extra time on your hands, hang out with them and let them sell and sell and sell. Pretend you're all ready to whip out the credit card. And then....look them in the eye and say "I changed my mind....your loss". "Your loss" is one of their famous lines.
Anyway - thanks for the great article.
By the way - I'm in Pennsylvania. They are known as "Deja Vu Cosmetics"....at least that's the name they are using right now. They keep changing their name because of differnt "issues" they have
i hate those people that work at those kiosks, they are always blocking my path in the mall and want to "ask me a question" if this is the future of malls, i think i am better off shopping online.
ReplyDeleteOh, so true... The products they sell are great, but when you go back to see just how much you have spent, it is really expensive. It is so tough to say put your card away... the products are very good... they do what they say and they can prove it. They do say that the products will be needed less and less as you use ut, but that is a lie... If you don't use the mask every week, you look just as old as you did before you started using the products.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything they all have been saying. Those who have been with the company long enough have married americans so that they won't be deported. They also make sure they get that woman pregnant so that they will have the anchor baby.
My friend sent this to me after I complained about them yesterday using 'cat calls' as a way to get my attention. I emailed their customer service about it, I'm not expecting anything to change at my mall in PA but they should be aware of what their employees are doing.
ReplyDeleteEveryone knows (or quickly finds out ) they're hustlers. All their products can be bought online for less than half the price in the mall. My issue is: Why are all these Malls ALLOWING their customers to be harassed AND ripped off? CALL or write the Mall Corporate Office and COMPLAIN!
ReplyDeleteCustomer service at De Javu isn't going to do anything about complaints! The culture of their business is to hustle every customer! That's how they are trained to make their money! It's the idiot American people who TOLERATE stuff like this! People who own stores in the mall should be FURIOUS! Nobody wants to walk past these huksters and if your store is close to their kiosk then YOU are losing customers! Stand up, get tough and send these people back to the flea markets from which they came!
ReplyDeleteCan you just dispute the sale on the credit card the an amount that the product is worth? Say ebay. I fell for this today. Cannot say I am happy about buying 200 bucks for 2 items and 2 little frrebies.
ReplyDelete