The Shirtless Fan...

Okay, let’s get one thing straight: I love sports. I’m not talking about the type of love where I watch my favorite teams when their on TV. I’m talking about season tickets for everything, yelling at the TV, pissed off mood after a loss, hating people who like the opposition, love. But, there’s one thing that you’ll never catch me doing: going shirtless at a game.

Now, I sort of get the concept- show your dedication by painting your body with your team’s colors to prove that you really care if they win or lose. But why go shirtless? Can’t you just buy a shirt with your team’s logo on it? My hatred for this fan has led me to analyze what type of person actually does this. My findings were vaster than I thought, leading me to conclude that there are multiple types of people who practice this demonstration. They are as follows:




THE FAT PAINTED GUY:
This guy is just disgusting. This is the guy who knows that he's way too fat to be painted, but it's the only way he'll get everyone's attention. It's actually quite sad: the man knows full well that he shouldn't have his shirt off, but having people laugh at him is better than not getting any looks at all.




THE TOUGHER THAN THE COLD IDIOTS:
These guys are so stupid. It's twenty degrees outside, the wind is howling, and these guys think they look cool with their shirts off. They want everyone to think that they're tougher than they really are, so they won't succumb to the bitter temperatures. The problem is: everybody else knows that they're just idiots.






PAINTED GIRLS:
Oh, boy. Stop it, girls. You should be watching the game, not posing for pictures. "Hey, look at us we painted our skin. Hehehe." Stop it.




And finally...



THE DOUCHE BAG:
This DB is the guy who simply takes off his shirt at a game because he thinks he looks good. There is no point to this shirtless spectator, he simply thinks his shit smells like potpourri. The majority of the time, this guys doesn't even watch the game; he's too busy "scoping out chicks." This might be the worst shirtless fan of all time. Not only do we have to look at this loser's shitty tribal tattoo, but he's usually yelling something in caveman at the players. This guys sucks.

I guess my point is that people need to leave their shirts on at sporting events. There are better ways to show your support-like cheering. Idiots.

everydayidiot@gmail.com