Hazard Lights...

Again, I live in Michigan; the weather sucks. Take today for example: today we got about a foot of snow in about ten, or so, hours. A foot! Do you know how shitty it is to get a foot of snow? Let me tell you: first of all, a foot of snow means that one has to shovel the driveway every hour for about ten hours. Second, it means that one also has to deal with the damn plow truck trapping him in his own property by making a fortress wall at the end of the driveway. Finally, it means that every single douche bag in the state will be on the roads.

There are many different types of driver that can fall under the douche bag umbrella on a snowy day, but I would first like to discuss one that really irritated me today: The Hazard Lights Idiot. Now, my friend Lindsey was the one who first pointed this idiot out to me, so I must give her credit for the initial hatred. However, throughout the course of a two hour drive, I too became upset with this jerk. This is the guy that who feels it's necessary to have his hazard lights on the entire time he's driving in the snow. Sure it seems like a petty crime, but remember: almost everything that pisses me off is petty.

Here's why this guy sucks: First, I can't figure out why he has them on. I mean, is it to warn everyone that there is snow on the ground? If so, then that's just f'ing stupid. I can see the damn snow on the ground, ass bag. Or, perhaps it's because he wants people to know that he's going slow because of the snow. Again, we're all going slow; he's still an idiot. Thus, because of this, I don't think these reasons are plausible. Instead, I think this simpleton leaves his hazards on because he knows he drives about as well as a fat kid rides a horse, and that's not good.

It's almost like this guy uses this stupid little button as a shield to protect the fact that deep in his heart of hearts, he knows he sucks at life. You see, one's driving skills are simply an extension of his ability to kick ass at life. The guy who drives fast, lives life fast. The guy who drives cautiously, usually lives life in a slow, cautious manor. The guy who drives like an idiot however, will almost always fail the kick-ass-human test. And this, my friends, is why the guy who uses his hazard lights continuously while driving in the snow sucks. Please stop doing this, you're an idiot.

everydayidiot@gmail.com