It’s important to note that I’m not talking about those individuals that leave comments on social networks, or the people that post status updates every twelve seconds. While those people can be equally annoying, at least they are using a portal that was designed for such transmissions. I’m talking about the simple-minded retirees, jobless folks, desk jockey’s, and/or individuals with jobs that require them to do nothing all day, who feel it is their duty to leave a simple-minded comment on every online news story. I cannot possibly create a comprehensive post that entails all of my issues with these people, so I will explain only a few of my main problems.
Problem # .5: I labeled this problem .5 because I'm only going to mention it. Writing an entire paragraph on this issue might give me a coronary, or I might end up breaking my computer. I like my computer. I'll just say that these morons are usually writing about something completely off-topic, or they will take something completely out of context and try to hammer a point that has nothing to do with the issue at hand. Ex: A kid steals candy from a baby on his way home from school, the comment board troll starts hammering the schools for not teaching the kids that stealing is wrong. Not the issue here, sir. Stop it.
Problem # 1: These people cannot create a proper argument to save their lives. Look, I’m not saying that every human being needs to have courtroom worthy arguments at all time, but for God’s sake, could these people at least be able to support their arguments with some sort of factual information? I can’t count how many times I’ve read someone’s bulletin board comment where they develop some uber-aggressive conspiracy that lacks any factual information whatsoever, and if anyone challenges them with a sufficient argument, the response is typically some sort of insult-laden, name-calling episode. I’m all about name-calling; it’s one of my favorite things to do. But, at least be able to support your claim while blasting epithets at people. Don’t resort to a “grown-up” version of the Dozens.
Problem #2: These people can’t write a coherent statement to save their lives. Come on, folks. Is writing standard English in a coherent way really that much of a lost art? I’m not saying I’m the greatest writer, nor do I always use perfect grammar, but these people can barely throw together more than two words in a sentence that has any substance. I guess this skill deficit should be expected considering the arguments suggest a lack of education; however, even the least educated of citizens should still be able to place words next to each other in a way that makes sense.
Problem #3: These people, apparently, have nothing good to offer society. This may be the biggest problem I have with these internet trolls. I mean, do this many people really not have jobs? How is it that so many comments, posts, and responses can take place throughout the course of a work day? There can’t be that many stay-at-home moms and dads. This leads me to only a couple of conclusions: 1) the majority of these “geniuses” who think they are qualified enough to judge and critique the thoughts and works of others are not even qualified enough to work a day job, or 2) too many people work meaningless jobs that require little to no attention, so little that the workers can spend the day surfing the internet making ignorant comments. If the former is the case, then I guess the job crisis in America is worse than I thought. Obviously, there are plenty of people with something to say and plenty of time, so perhaps we should be creating work for them. If the latter is the case, then I suppose I am extremely jealous. I work a job that many have criticized in the last few years, yet my job requires 100% attention for almost my entire workday.
Regardless of the reasons for which these people have the time to spew uninformed, irrelevant information upon the casual internet user, one thing is for sure: this behavior lands this portion of society on the top of Idiot Mountain. There’s nothing more absurd than reading a battle of “wits” on a bulletin board between two idiot Americans, and quite frankly, it makes me fear for the future of our country.
Oh, well. I suppose I take the time to read these interactions, so perhaps I’m the only true idiot here.
Peace out, for now, idiots.
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